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Luna Sea
15th-Jun-2009 11:53 pm
Wow... it's been a long while since I last posted.
I've been kind of down of late.  Lots of emotional ick.  Expectations all around not being met.

On a good note, last weekend was nice.  We traveled North and spent Saturday in Sebastapol with juggledude and his daughter, who I hadn't seen in about three years.  I also got to meet his delightful partner who... I'll just say that I can't even fathom her strength.  She seems to be surviving a hand that, had it been dealt to me, would have left me unwilling to go on living.  Her strength is inspiring, and speaks volumes to the awesome support she has. 
Of course, Rozz was thrilled to be in a new environment.  He thrives on doing new things, going places and being social.  He had an unfortunate run-in with one of their cats, but will probably come through without a scar.

I'm dealing with a big Catch 22 these days.  I communicate pretty regularly with my parents and sibs.  I'm on the phone with at least one of them a minimum of four days a week.  Normally, this is a great thing.  Talking to them keeps me grounded, recharges me and generally puts me in a better mood.  They'll be heading to Idaho soon though, so every time I talk with one of them, preparations for the trip are invariably mentioned, which leaves me glum. 
Background... my fam never did vacations when I was growing up.  Money was always tight, so those stereotypical family trips never happened.  For three years running now, they've gone to Boise and stayed at my Dad's brother's home for a few weeks around the Fourth of July.  The last two years, I joined and just loved the experiences... crammed into cars together... going on utterly dumb excursions... stumbling across awful experiences that turned into wonderful stories we could later laugh about.  Every trip was like filling in a blank spot in my childhood.
Last year, some might remember, went horribly awry.  Mom and Gregg had their SmackDownBrawl.  They've recovered pretty well, but I know that Gregg on the Boise trip is something that will never again happen.  Which bends me over and screws me.
So... yeah.  Part of me wants to stop talking to my family until a month or so after they return.  Save myself hearing about the plans, preparations and stories of fun I missed out on.  But going that long without talking to them is unthinkable.
That's my Catch 22. 

I really need to start focusing on the positives in my life.

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